Are you that “YES” woman?
Are you constantly doing everything for everyone else in your life?
…despite half the time wishing they would do the same for you?
For years I was that “yes” woman. I did everything for everyone, even when it left me unhappy. The overly people pleasing mentality is such a common syndrome – especially in women or people that have not felt approval or love in childhood.
I want you to stop being the nutella for everyone else right now! You feel me girl? Stop serving up your chocolatey goodness to all of those people that take you for granted, don’t love you, and do not honor your gifts.
Start enjoying your own Nutella!
and take these baby steps to overcome the people pleasing plague:
EMBRACE THE WORD NO!
If you are an emphatic, emotionally driven or have a sensitive nature saying “NO” can be one of the hearest things ever!!! Trust me – I still struggle with this daily! If you are like me and have a hard time saying no or dealing with conflict, try these strategies:
- Keep it simple: Resist the urge to over explain. Simple responses such as “Sorry, I can’t this time” or “I’m afraid I’m busy that day” are most effective.
- Expand your definition of “I have plans”! Many women feel they can’t turn down an invitation unless they have another event, party, or meeting to attend. We all need down time and alone time, so if you have scheduled that downtime for yourself, honor that commitment just as you would a party or other event! Don’t be afraid to say, “Sorry, I have plans.” if the plans are just chilling in your pjs by yourself!
- Behind every “No” is a “Yes” You know you don’t want to go to that mean girl’s birthday party, work a 16 – hour day, or go on that second date with particularly BORING guy!!! But do you know what you want to do instead?
Every time you say no to a less-than-appealing request, you say YES to something AMAZING! Maybe it’s quality time with the ones you love, having a Stranger Things marathon, or taking that time to try a new fitness class. I recently quit a job that was no longer making me happy, and by doing so was able to apply and start taking User Experience Design classes. I feel so much happier now that I am not wasting time saying yes to a job that did not fulfill me! Saying NO frees you to pursue a dreams!!! It gives you the time and energy to take a new, develop your potential, or to work for a cause you believe in.
The more time you can give to the things you truly care about, the more satisfying your life will feel.
Manifest Your Full Potential!
Bring positive vibes to your future…that don’t have to do with ANYBODY else!!!
What do YOU want?
What kind of job do you want?
What Pet do you want?
What kind of small or big impact do you want to have in the world?
What LIFE do you want?
Think about it!
If we constantly attach our dreams to other people’s expectations or desires of us, we will never get OUR NUTELLA!!!
Other people cannot be in charge of our happiness.
And we are not in charge of other people’s happiness. Only WE are in charge of OUR happiness.
You go girl!!!
I want that for you, too. If you need a little extra help, don’t hesitate to come say hi to me and DM me @mscoffeeandcream ! Yes, I post a lot of fun fashion videos but mostly love to speak to people like you about personal development and women’s issues!
Lots of love!