I’m just going to come out and be totally open about an issue that has been on my mind for many years.
I don’t identify as a feminist!
Let me clarify before you start getting upset! I am not against feminism, and I have many many friends who strongly label themselves as feminists. However, I don’t believe in subscribing to any belief system or dogma that I haven’t created for myself. I am very pro critical thinking, and over the last couple of years I have found that certain feminist ideologies do not serve my true sense of self. Wherever you fall in your personal beliefs, my hope is that you realize that you have the power of critical thinking and original thought! Ask yourself if the belief systems you hold are truly serving you, and if they are not I hope my story inspires you the make some changes!
As a feminine woman living in the Bay Area, I often feel isolated because our culture celebrates masculine traits within women. Our modern society embraces the women who exude a very masculine energy. Reasons why I do not identify as a feminist:
1. I love celebrating difference!
I’ve always known the sexes are equal but different. All individuals come into this world with a unique balance of the masculine and feminine energies, regardless of gender. Our world needs both energies – they are complementary and create a flourishing world.
*Disclaimer: Masculinity is NOT synonymous with men. Femininity is NOT synonymous with women.
These differences make the world a beautiful, interesting and dynamic place! So much of the feminist ideology tries to persuade women to be more masculine energy and to fit into a mold.
Growing up in a very feminist area of the world in a feminist family I was always criticized for my natural feminine energy. The side of me that wanted to be creative and paint my nails, the side of me that wanted to wear high heels…my love of fashion and expression…I was constantly told by the adults in my life that these pursuits and interests were not valid.
That I couldn’t be reading Vogue because I should be doing math instead. For many years I felt guilty about my natural feminine inclinations and felt that I was looked upon as stupid because I liked to paint my nails. I thought I had to act more tough and assertive and hide my naturally nice, sensitive and thoughtful nature…especially in situations with men. I was always being told I was too sensitive, and despite trying very hard to be less sensitive, the sensitive nature just never went away. Finally I started learning all about the polarity of masculine and feminine energy, and realized I was a highly feminine energy individual. Once I was able to fully embrace my feminine energy I went from merely surviving to thriving! And many of my dearest friends are very very masculine energy women – and I adore them and admire them for their strength of will and ability to get from point A to B with confidence and major efficiency! But I also love women (and men) like myself who really enjoy being at home, who enjoy preparing and cooking a meal from scratch for their loved ones…the sensitive people who can nurture the fabric of our society. It all comes back to truly knowing who you are and embracing that sense of self – whether you are more feminine, masculine, or just balanced!
2. I value and honor the power of my femininity
Somehow our femininity got lost along our journey to empowerment. Unlike what most feminists think, true femininity is not weakness.
Women excel at adapting for our survival. We got really good at wearing our masculine mask and using our masculine tools at work. Perhaps like many women, each time you experience disappointment, heart ache, sadness, loneliness or frustration you reach for your masculine mask and masculine tools to feel “less hurt.”
Femininity comes from a willingness to be open and vulnerable. And anyone who is vulnerably open will tell you that it takes a hell of a lot more strength to be open (feminine) than it does to protect yourself and close up (masculine). Unfortunately, in today’s society it is quite rare to experience a woman who is authentically open in her feminine radiance. Once I learned to fully embrace my feminine energy I felt so incredibly powerful! There is so much power in being open with your heart, vulnerable, kind, sensitive, and having empathy. Authentic power is about cultivating your innate divine qualities that affirm your life, your identity and your well-being. Feminine energy is your openness.